3 Fast-Acting Tools to Help You Tackle Overwhelm

Simple, science-backed, therapeutic practices to reset your nervous system — fast.

Friends,

I’m so sorry — I was due to send out part 2 of my 7-part series today, but my partner was in a serious motorbike accident on Tuesday afternoon. He was airlifted to a hospital 30 miles away from home, where he's currently in the Major Trauma unit. While I'll do everything I can to deliver what I can to you, when I can, please forgive me if my posting schedule goes a bit sideways for a short while.

Meanwhile, I’ve finished off this post, which I was going to publish this weekend to help you deal with overwhelm. I'm using these tools myself right now — on top of the regular practice I’m in the process of sharing — and trust me, they work.

I hope it helps to tide you over.

—Lori

Friends,

After reading the first post ‘In Uncertain Times, This is Where You Start’—which, if you recall, is the first in a 7-week series learning skills to help you stay calm and steady through the storm — a few readers reached out. You told me that although you welcome the series, you’re feeling overwhelmed. Like you don’t have enough capacity— not enough time, not enough energy, not enough mental space — to deal with what’s in front of you.

Already, it feels like there’s too much coming at you and not enough of you to meet it. So you need something to help you — not down the road, but NOW.

I hear you—I understand, so let’s not wait. Let me give you something that helps right now. It won’t keep you steady through the storm— that’s what the 7 week series is for— but it’s enough to stop you from drowning when you feel like you’re going under.

Today, I’m going to share three science-backed tools I use myself, if ever I begin to feel overwhelmed. They’re quick, they’re simple, and they work. Each one takes only minutes, but they can help bring you back to centre when it feels like you’re barely holding it together. Oh— and you don’t need special equipment, a therapist or an app for any of them.

The three tools are:

✅A Grounding Technique

✅A Breathing Technique

✅And a ‘Wild Card’

As always, I explain the science behind ‘why’ each one works. But if you’d prefer to scroll straight to the tools themselves, I’ve highlighted each one with a pushpin. 📌

Let’s get to it.

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The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise is deceptively simple, but incredibly effective when you're feeling overwhelmed. It engages your five senses to pull you out of your spiralling thoughts, reconnect to your immediate environment, and anchor you firmly in the present moment. It’s a go-to therapeutic tool for easing anxiety, managing trauma, and interrupting PTSD flashbacks.

Here’s the science behind it:

1. It shifts your focus from mind to body

When you’re overwhelmed, your brain is often racing — flooded with worry, ‘what ifs’, or sensory overload. This practice redirects your attention to concrete, immediate sensations. It’s called sensory grounding, and it helps interrupt that unhealthy mental loop by re-engaging your prefrontal cortex — the rational, present-focused part of your brain.

2. It calms your nervous system

Focusing on your senses helps signal to your body that you’re safe, because if you have time to notice the texture of a fabric or the sound of birds, you’re clearly not under physical threat. This reduces sympathetic (fight-or-flight) activation and helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system — the calming branch of your nervous system.

3. It slows your breathing and heart rate

The act of noticing — really taking in the colours, sounds, or textures — naturally slows you down. This alone can regulate your breathing and lower your heart rate, both of which reduce the feeling of panic or overwhelm.

4. It’s a microdose of mindfulness

Essentially, it’s a quick and easy way to practise mindfulness without needing to sit still or meditate. It’s the practice of being instead of thinking, and that action helps ground your awareness in reality, rather than the storm inside your head.

Before you begin, just one thing to note. In the practice, I ask you to ‘name’ things; name them aloud if you’re in a place where you can do so. Speaking then aloud means you're grounding your experience with 3 sensory organs — eyes, mouth, ears — instead of just one.

📌5-4-3-2-1 Exercise

Find a comfortable spot where you can sit or stand and let yourself settle into the moment. Take a few deep breaths — let the air fill your lungs, then slowly release it. There’s no rush here. Allow yourself the time and space to feel present.

When you’re ready, let's begin.

Step 1: See

Start by looking around you. Notice five things you can see. These could be big or small, and they don’t need to be anything extraordinary. It could be the way light is shining on an object, the colour of a chair, the texture of the surface you’re sitting on, or even the shape of a shadow. Whatever you see, take a moment to name each one. "I see a blue book," "I see a plant with green leaves," "I see a pen." Let yourself really take in the details of each thing, noticing the unique features. The more you name, the more you’ll feel anchored.

Step 2: Touch

Now, bring your attention to your body and the sense of touch. Notice four things you can feel. Perhaps your feet on the floor, the weight of your body on the chair, or the feeling of your clothes against your skin. It might be the coolness of the air or the warmth of your hands. Name each sensation. "I feel the softness of my sweater," "I feel my feet on the ground," "I feel the coolness of the air on my face." Let these sensations ground you, connecting you to the present, to the space you're in.

Step 3: Hear

Next, tune in to your sense of hearing. What are three things you can hear? It might be the hum of the environment, distant sounds, or the soft rustle of your breath. Maybe it's the ticking of a clock or the sound of birds outside. Name each sound you hear. "I hear the sound of the wind," "I hear the ticking clock," "I hear my breathing." Let each sound remind you that you are here, that your senses are engaged, and that you’re present.

Step 4: Smell

Now, bring your focus to your sense of smell. Take a deep breath and notice two things you can smell. It might be the scent of the air around you, the fragrance of something in the room, or even the faint scent of something you’ve carried with you today. If you can't immediately detect a smell, just take a moment and breathe slowly, giving your senses time to engage. Name whatever you notice. "I smell the fresh air," "I smell my coffee." Even if it’s faint, it’s still part of the present moment.

Step 5: Taste

Finally, bring attention to your sense of taste. What’s one thing you can taste right now? It could be the aftertaste of your last meal, the dryness of your mouth, or even the taste of your breath. Name it. "I taste the coffee I just drank," "I taste the dryness in my mouth," or "I taste the fresh air." Just noticing and naming this sensation brings you further into the present.

Closing:

Now, take a deep breath, inhaling fully, and exhale gently. Notice how you feel in this moment.

You’ve just taken a few minutes to reconnect with your senses, bringing yourself back to the present. In this moment, there’s no pressure, no rush — only the grounding presence of your body, your senses, and the world around you.

Take a final moment to give yourself credit — you did that. You brought yourself back to centre, and that’s a powerful thing.

You can return to this technique any time things get too much. By naming the things you see, hear, touch, smell, and taste, you’re creating a calming connection to your surroundings, helping you find your centre again.

Note: This is what I’m using when I feel discombobulated — flooded with emotion, mentally scattered, and physically depleted — and I need to get out of my head, and focus on what needs done, now.

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Box Breathing (also known as 'square breathing') is most often recommended for regulating the nervous system and bringing a sense of calm. Basically, you inhale for 4 counts, hold the breath for 4, exhale for 4, hold again for 4, then rinse and repeat.

I'm going against prevailing wisdom here, but I don't recommend Box Breathing for overwhelm.

Here's why:

To regulate your nervous system effectively, your breath needs to be long, slow, and deep. That’s what signals to the body that it’s safe to shift out of a stress response.

Box breathing doesn’t slow the breath

Box Breathing relies on you consciously deciding to slow things down — there’s no intrinsic mechanism to ensure you breathe slowly. But in moments of overwhelm, you want something that naturally guides you into it. Without it, you could take just 2 seconds for each step and technically be doing it 'right', but you wouldn’t attain the desired outcome.

It doesn’t deepen the breath

The problem here is that if you’re inhaling without slowing or deepening the breath, you’re filling the middle and upper parts of the lungs. When you then hold your breath, your body starts to register rising carbon dioxide levels in your blood. This signals to your brainstem that oxygen might be in short supply. Even though you’re not in danger, this can tip your nervous system into mild sympathetic activation.

For most, this is not a full fight-or-flight alarm, but enough to create tension or discomfort. But in some, it can trigger a mild sense of panic. Exactly what we're all trying to avoid when we're overwhelmed.

Longer exhales = better regulation

As I've mentioned before, breathing isn’t just about oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange it’s also tightly linked to your autonomic nervous system, which governs involuntary functions like your heart rate and digestion. Now, the act of inhaling is linked to sympathetic activation, slightly speeding up your heart rate, while exhalation is tied to parasympathetic activation, slowing the heart rate down.

This back-and-forth is known as respiratory sinus arrhythmia (RSA) — a natural variation in heart rate that syncs with your breathing. When you prolong your exhalation, you give the vagus nerve more time to send signals to your heart to reduce your heart rate and blood pressure. This enhances vagal tone, which is a marker of how responsive your parasympathetic system is. Higher vagal tone = greater resilience to stress and quicker recovery from it.

If you simply have your exhalation equal the length of your inhalation, you’re missing a major trick.

Here's what I recommend — and use, myself.

Alternate Nostril Breathing

Alternate Nostril Breathing (ANB) is a powerful way to regulate your nervous system through both physiological and sensory grounding mechanisms. Science is only just beginning to unpack just how and why it works so effectively, especially when you’re overwhelmed, but let me tell you what we know so far.

Naturally slows and deepens the breath

Breathing through one nostril at a time naturally slows and deepens your breath simply because it restricts airflow. It also increases CO₂ tolerance, which helps improve oxygen delivery and reduces over-breathing, common in anxiety. As your breath slows, it deepens, sending calming signals to the brain via the vagus nerve, a key player in nervous system regulation.

Focuses the mind

As well as slowing your breath ANB focuses your mind — you need to track your breath, switch nostrils, and maintain the sequence. This pulls you out of racing thoughts and into the present, quieting the default mode network (which fuels mind-wandering and worry) and engaging areas of your brain responsible for self-regulation and calm focus. Research using heart rate variability (HRV) shows that this promotes parasympathetic dominance, lowers heart rate, reduces stress, and creates emotional stability.

Integrates and balances the brain

Emerging evidence suggests that right nostril breathing stimulates the left hemisphere of the brain (linked to logic and sympathetic activity) and left nostril breathing stimulates the right hemisphere (linked to emotion and parasympathetic activity). ANB may therefore help integrate and balance both hemispheres of your brain, promoting a sense of mental clarity and equilibrium.

Engages sensory grounding

ANB is also a form of sensory grounding — a calming technique that uses your senses to anchor you in the present moment. The tactile input from using your fingers to close each nostril acts like a physical anchor, engaging your brain’s somatosensory areas and bringing your awareness back to your body. You also engage interoception — the ability to sense your internal bodily states — by focusing on the flow of air through each nostril, the rhythm of your breath, and the movement in your chest or abdomen. Interoceptive awareness also helps signal safety to the brain.

Convinced? Let’s try it.

📌Sit in a comfortable position, with your spine straight, but not erect.

Take the forefinger and middle finger of one hand — either one will do — and place them between your eyebrows. Let the hand relax, and you'll find the thumb and ring finger are hovered over each nostril. (You’ll probably be using one hand to scroll through the directions, but once you get the hang of this, just place it comfortably on your leg. )

You’re going to use your thumb and ring finger to guide your breath through each nostril. So get comfortable with the idea first. Apply just enough pressure with your thumb to close one nostril, while you inhale through the other. Now close the other nostril and sit for a moment with your inhaled breath. Lift your thumb and allow the exhale to gently release through that nostril. At the end of your exhale, close that nostril with your thumb, and again sit with the empty breath for a moment.

Wouldn’t you know, you’re halfway through a round — well done!

The other half of the round is the same process, but in reverse, starting by lifting the thumb and inhaling through that nostril. Thumb down, and hold your breath for a moment. Lift the ring finger and exhale through that nostril. Close the nostril and hold for a moment.

Got it?

Now we add the count:

• Inhale for a slow, steady count of 4.

• Hold for 4.

• Exhale for a count of 6.

• Hold for 2.

Repeat, until you feel calm and centred. For me that's maybe 4 to 6 rounds, but it could be longer for you. (I’m already primed with the ‘steady through the storm’ practice.)

Some people just let the forefinger and middle finger curl into the palm of their hand. Again, to me, they're missing a trick. Having your fingers on your forehead gives your hand stability, and has a sensory grounding effect.

This little ‘trick’ was taught to me in Zimbabwe by global humanitarian, spiritual leader, and peace envoy, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, who presided over the ‘Meditation for Global Peace and Harmony’ at the UN HQ in December ‘24. He knows a thing or two about breathwork. But as ever, the choice is yours.

Note: This is what I do in quieter moments, just to steady the helm and to help me keep going.

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Cold Water Calm

And so, to the ‘Wild Card’.

This is a slightly unusual but highly effective practice you can use whenever you feel you’re on the edge of overwhelm. It’s simple, but primal: you plunge your face into cold water.

Stay with me.

I know it sounds extreme but the sudden jolt, the gasp, and the way the world seems to sharpen in an instant is like a hard reset for the brain.

And while it may seem extreme, there’s solid science behind why it works. It’s rooted in a survival mechanism we share with dolphins, seals, and other diving mammals: the mammalian dive reflex.

Plunging your face into cold water overrides the sympathetic response by stimulating the vagus nerve, which in turn boosts parasympathetic activity. It effectively slams the brakes on your sympathetic nervous system.

Here’s how it works.

When cold water touches your face — particularly your eyes, nose, and forehead area — nerve endings in your skin (specifically the ophthalmic branch of the trigeminal nerve) send urgent signals to your brainstem, which is the control centre for your autonomic nervous system. The moment that message lands, your body slips into a different gear. Your heart rate drops (a response called bradycardia), breathing steadies, and the amygdala — your brain’s stress and fear centre — chills out.

This dive reflex evolved to help us survive underwater by conserving oxygen. But although you’re not actually diving, your body responds the same way. As long as cold water hits the right spots on your face, it triggers the same response.

But — and this is important — the effect is mild unless you fully submerge your face in cold water for more than a few seconds, holding your breath while doing it. Simply splashing — or briefly immersing — your face won’t trigger the same response.

📌Fill a basin, a bucket, or a bowl with cold water. Whatever you choose should be large enough to comfortably accommodate your face. Ice cubes are optional, but recommended for best effect. (Feel free to remove them once the temperature is cold enough.)

Set a timer for 20-30 seconds. Take a deep breath, and plunge your face into the water. Hold it there until the timer rings.

Repeat if required. Breathe deeply, through your nose, as you dry your face.

Most people get the full benefit within 20 to 30 seconds of facial immersion, which is usually enough to shift the physiological state. That said, some people will do 2 or 3 short immersions if they’re feeling especially overwrought.

Note: This is for those moments when you feel like you’re going over the edge, and need something to calm you and bring you round, FAST! I’ve not had to use this technique for a long time — the other tools combined keep me steady.

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So, there we have it — three quick, simple, and effective tools to stop you from ‘drowning’ when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Use them alone, double up, or stack all three if you feel like you need to.

And next time overwhelm hits and nothing seems to work, remember: your body holds ancient wisdom. All you have to do is listen.