I'm happy to have found you through a comment you made. This is a scary time, and hearing advice from someone who has lived through something similar is comforting. I'm a retired, disabled nurse that is trying to figure out how to (1) protect my kids and grandkids from the economic blows coming their way. (2) Fight back against the razing of our Democracy (once again it's about the world my kids and grandkids will live in).
I have always had the motto of "When disaster strikes, stay calm and act immediately, we can fall apart when the crisis is over." I guess I don't know what to do when the crisis is slow rolling and has so many parts.
I will be following to see what you, someone with personal experience and education, has to say. Thank you.
I’d like to say ‘it’s my pleasure’ Tracy, but that’s not exactly right. I wish none of us were in this position.
However, a slow-rolling crisis gives you time to learn the skills you need to adapt, and to find the right way for you to move forward. Meanwhile, I’m humbled by your trust in me, thank you. If what I went through helps guide someone else forward, then for me it will have been worth it.
As another therapist who has no previous experience with this, I am so grateful for you sharing your life experience through the mental health lens. Thanks for the inspiration of your perseverence.
You’re so welcome Melissa. I’ve been looking at my experience through a mental health, but also a spiritual lens for 2 decades now, so there’s a lot more to come! Hope it helps you.
Thank you, Lori. I also found you through a comment made on another substack. Sadly my son, who’s worked in Nigeria, Zimbabwe and Pakistan and who has been a student of development studies for many years, predicted many years ago, exactly what’s happening now, though before Trump was in the picture. He saw the trajectory and patterns of politics and governance and rhetoric. Of course I was incredulous. I didn’t believe it could happen here. But here we are.
I am an action oriented person. I cannot and will not sit by and just watch. I am trying to gather all the info I can to respond in a meaningful way. I have many friends who also want to stand up and resist.
Thank you Beth. Your son and I are similar in that regard- I told my family what was ‘down the line’ when I returned to the UK in the halcyon days of 2005. They looked at me as though I was mad. (And I suspect that if I told them of my Substack, they’d do the same today.) I’m not happy that circumstances seem to be proving me right, but I’m grateful to have had the last 20 years to study why it would happen, and to mentally put together a guide based on my own experience, to help others through it. I hope it helps you.
Thank you for starting a Substack. I couldn't sign up fast enough. You'll find a lot of intelligent adults and experienced writers here. We are good at supporting each other and I choose carefully who I include in my speed dial. Your about page has all the words my community recognizes, including economist, professional, psychotherapist, and thinker. I encourage you to subscribe to Gifted Professionals and Communicators and contact me directly by email or phone to discuss our common experiences in mindfulness, resilience, and transitions through a lifetime.
Is there anyway to suss out whether it's smart to leave the US? Is there a best place to go? Is our money safe anywhere?
(I have a couple of 403b's, Social Security, and small state pension from 40 years as a public school teacher. Still paying a mortgage and utilities but no other debts.)
Or is the whole thing a giant crap shoot? I'm not frozen, but definitely confused. Stress eating and gaining weight. Difficult sleep.
I am not brave and I am 71 years old. But I'm still fit and mobile and can live very small. I don't need much in the way of material goods.
I guess my primary question is should we leave, when, and where could we go? Thanks very much for your courage and generosity. I will appreciate any thoughts you (or other readers)may have about my question.
This is a question I’ve been asking myself for some years, having seen quite clearly what was on the horizon for us. (Because developing mental and emotional resilience is all very well, but if you can avoid the scenario, so much the better, right?) But having twice relocated, I know it brings its own set of challenges- visas, adapting to a new culture, differing costs of living (will your income be enough in a new country?), and being completely (physically) isolated from your current support network. The last point is especially significant- you never realise the importance of those bonds until they’re gone. The people left behind don’t miss you as much you miss them, because their extended support network is still in place, whereas you need to build yourself a new one.
Equally, where would you go in the Western world that is not either a) going the same way as the US or b) going to be in Putin/ Trump’s sights should it all go pear-shaped?
No, stay put, and work on managing your stress response, and building your resilience- I’ll share the tools that helped me get through it. And while you may not be brave now, you can get braver. Truly, it’s not difficult to learn the skills you need.
Hold onto that thought and stay strong- you are tougher than you think. We all are.
Thank you very much for that thorough response. I think your advice to protect my attention is the most important one for me right now. I spend way too much time trying to find somebody to tell me what to do. I think I'm looking for a needle in a haystack. Going out for a big walk now!
That sounds like a very wise plan! While you’re out, switch your phone to airplane mode, and breathe deeply, through your nose. Focus on the physical experience of walking, and pay attention to the sights, sounds, smell and touch sensations you experience while you walk. If you’re out in nature, so much the better. That will all help you get out of your head, where all your worries exist, and back into your body, and the the worry- free present moment.
Just what I was looking for— practical advice and encouragement from someone who is actually been through the disintegration of a country under an authoritarian regime.
You’re welcome, Tammy. I’m sorry you’re feeling ragged, I know how you feel. So as well as my 7 week series to help you stay steady, I’m putting out a post this weekend with 3 tools to help you now. I’m pretty sure you’ll find something in there to help.
Thank you for this. I found you from your comment on Reich's post. You mentioned the need to manage our nervous system -> emotions... Do you have some good resources for those of us who for various reasons don't have access to professional counseling, where we can learn more about this on our own? We have insurance via my retired USMC husband's benefits, but now fElon has access to our records, and at least one other retiree has had over $100k in previously approved & paid claims retroactively denied. I'm afraid of what they'll do to our coverage (and even his retirement pay) were we to seek mental health care. Thank you! 🙏
I’m glad you asked that! Come Friday, I’ll be writing a weekly post with an actionable strategy to help. Subscribe—for free—and it goes straight to your inbox.
Apologies, Mary - I promised you a tool to help you manage your emotions/ nervous system, but got distracted writing something else and didn't deliver. 🙈 I'm writing it now, and will send it out this Friday.
Amazing article! You capture the risks of freezing so well! The other thing I would add to the blame is don’t get stuck in the self-blame either. I see a lot of Democrats sort of blaming their own side these days. For example, Democrats didn’t have the right economic message or Democrats are not fighting enough etc…. But if we sit their just blaming Democratic leaders waiting for them to save us and not taking action ourselves we just stay stuck. I feel like we need to be protesting on the streets in massive numbers to let all elected leaders know this is not okay. And to let others now they are not alone in feeling aghast at what is happening. I was at a protest this weekend in a major city and their were a lot of people there, but not at the 2017 levels. How do we get more people “unstuck” and out protesting? Is protesting an important tool from your experience in countering this democracy backsliding?
Thank you, I'm happy to have helped. You raise some valid points, thanks. I'll be sure to include them when I write a full-blown piece on the 'blame game'.
As for your questions, I want to be careful in my response, so as not to be partisan or alarmist. Peaceful protest in Zim was swiftly quashed, as it became too dangerous. I fear that with recent legislation introduced in the UK and Trump's Executive Orders, the price of protest may also soon become too high in both our nations.
Brave lady, thank you. Great advice, and I do step away from my cocoon now and then, too much rage is not healthy or productive. Action does matter, and thinking what is the best way to resist is important.
You’ll be warmly welcomed Cynthia. (And if you subscribe, I ask all subscribers to tell me what emotions they’re most struggling with, so I can address that directly.)
thank you for sharing your experience. i found you today by asking a question about inaccurate information on scotland's visa's. like a few others on this thread, we have thought about relocation. we had thought of canada or scotland. my father's family was from scotland. i appreciate your words on substack.
I'm happy to have found you through a comment you made. This is a scary time, and hearing advice from someone who has lived through something similar is comforting. I'm a retired, disabled nurse that is trying to figure out how to (1) protect my kids and grandkids from the economic blows coming their way. (2) Fight back against the razing of our Democracy (once again it's about the world my kids and grandkids will live in).
I have always had the motto of "When disaster strikes, stay calm and act immediately, we can fall apart when the crisis is over." I guess I don't know what to do when the crisis is slow rolling and has so many parts.
I will be following to see what you, someone with personal experience and education, has to say. Thank you.
I’d like to say ‘it’s my pleasure’ Tracy, but that’s not exactly right. I wish none of us were in this position.
However, a slow-rolling crisis gives you time to learn the skills you need to adapt, and to find the right way for you to move forward. Meanwhile, I’m humbled by your trust in me, thank you. If what I went through helps guide someone else forward, then for me it will have been worth it.
As another therapist who has no previous experience with this, I am so grateful for you sharing your life experience through the mental health lens. Thanks for the inspiration of your perseverence.
You’re so welcome Melissa. I’ve been looking at my experience through a mental health, but also a spiritual lens for 2 decades now, so there’s a lot more to come! Hope it helps you.
I’m a spiritual person too and seeking meaning and values alignment is part of how I cope! Thank you
Thank you, Lori. I also found you through a comment made on another substack. Sadly my son, who’s worked in Nigeria, Zimbabwe and Pakistan and who has been a student of development studies for many years, predicted many years ago, exactly what’s happening now, though before Trump was in the picture. He saw the trajectory and patterns of politics and governance and rhetoric. Of course I was incredulous. I didn’t believe it could happen here. But here we are.
I am an action oriented person. I cannot and will not sit by and just watch. I am trying to gather all the info I can to respond in a meaningful way. I have many friends who also want to stand up and resist.
So there in a nutshell is why Im here.
I look forward to hearing your words of wisdom.
Thank you
Thank you Beth. Your son and I are similar in that regard- I told my family what was ‘down the line’ when I returned to the UK in the halcyon days of 2005. They looked at me as though I was mad. (And I suspect that if I told them of my Substack, they’d do the same today.) I’m not happy that circumstances seem to be proving me right, but I’m grateful to have had the last 20 years to study why it would happen, and to mentally put together a guide based on my own experience, to help others through it. I hope it helps you.
Thank you for starting a Substack. I couldn't sign up fast enough. You'll find a lot of intelligent adults and experienced writers here. We are good at supporting each other and I choose carefully who I include in my speed dial. Your about page has all the words my community recognizes, including economist, professional, psychotherapist, and thinker. I encourage you to subscribe to Gifted Professionals and Communicators and contact me directly by email or phone to discuss our common experiences in mindfulness, resilience, and transitions through a lifetime.
Thank you for your vote of confidence Georgia. I’ll be in touch!
Is there anyway to suss out whether it's smart to leave the US? Is there a best place to go? Is our money safe anywhere?
(I have a couple of 403b's, Social Security, and small state pension from 40 years as a public school teacher. Still paying a mortgage and utilities but no other debts.)
Or is the whole thing a giant crap shoot? I'm not frozen, but definitely confused. Stress eating and gaining weight. Difficult sleep.
I am not brave and I am 71 years old. But I'm still fit and mobile and can live very small. I don't need much in the way of material goods.
I guess my primary question is should we leave, when, and where could we go? Thanks very much for your courage and generosity. I will appreciate any thoughts you (or other readers)may have about my question.
This is a question I’ve been asking myself for some years, having seen quite clearly what was on the horizon for us. (Because developing mental and emotional resilience is all very well, but if you can avoid the scenario, so much the better, right?) But having twice relocated, I know it brings its own set of challenges- visas, adapting to a new culture, differing costs of living (will your income be enough in a new country?), and being completely (physically) isolated from your current support network. The last point is especially significant- you never realise the importance of those bonds until they’re gone. The people left behind don’t miss you as much you miss them, because their extended support network is still in place, whereas you need to build yourself a new one.
Equally, where would you go in the Western world that is not either a) going the same way as the US or b) going to be in Putin/ Trump’s sights should it all go pear-shaped?
No, stay put, and work on managing your stress response, and building your resilience- I’ll share the tools that helped me get through it. And while you may not be brave now, you can get braver. Truly, it’s not difficult to learn the skills you need.
Hold onto that thought and stay strong- you are tougher than you think. We all are.
Thank you very much for that thorough response. I think your advice to protect my attention is the most important one for me right now. I spend way too much time trying to find somebody to tell me what to do. I think I'm looking for a needle in a haystack. Going out for a big walk now!
That sounds like a very wise plan! While you’re out, switch your phone to airplane mode, and breathe deeply, through your nose. Focus on the physical experience of walking, and pay attention to the sights, sounds, smell and touch sensations you experience while you walk. If you’re out in nature, so much the better. That will all help you get out of your head, where all your worries exist, and back into your body, and the the worry- free present moment.
Enjoy your walk. 🙏
Just what I was looking for— practical advice and encouragement from someone who is actually been through the disintegration of a country under an authoritarian regime.
Daily, I’m becoming more grateful I went through it Constance, as my experience helps guide others.
New subscriber, just turned 71, and found you thru Reich's column this very day! Looking forward for your word.
Take care
Thank you, and welcome! I’m happy you found your way here, and hope my posts help. You take care too.
Thank you for this. I’m a little ragged right now but I’ll be following
You’re welcome, Tammy. I’m sorry you’re feeling ragged, I know how you feel. So as well as my 7 week series to help you stay steady, I’m putting out a post this weekend with 3 tools to help you now. I’m pretty sure you’ll find something in there to help.
Stay strong. 🙏
Thank you for this. Your post feels like fresh air.
You’re very welcome Dr. SeeLou. Thank you for your words, which are like fresh air to me. 🙏
Thank you for this. I found you from your comment on Reich's post. You mentioned the need to manage our nervous system -> emotions... Do you have some good resources for those of us who for various reasons don't have access to professional counseling, where we can learn more about this on our own? We have insurance via my retired USMC husband's benefits, but now fElon has access to our records, and at least one other retiree has had over $100k in previously approved & paid claims retroactively denied. I'm afraid of what they'll do to our coverage (and even his retirement pay) were we to seek mental health care. Thank you! 🙏
You’re very welcome Mary.
I’m glad you asked that! Come Friday, I’ll be writing a weekly post with an actionable strategy to help. Subscribe—for free—and it goes straight to your inbox.
Apologies, Mary - I promised you a tool to help you manage your emotions/ nervous system, but got distracted writing something else and didn't deliver. 🙈 I'm writing it now, and will send it out this Friday.
Thank you! Very timely.
...and before anyone makes the knee-jerk assumption, no, we *never* supported Trump.
Amazing article! You capture the risks of freezing so well! The other thing I would add to the blame is don’t get stuck in the self-blame either. I see a lot of Democrats sort of blaming their own side these days. For example, Democrats didn’t have the right economic message or Democrats are not fighting enough etc…. But if we sit their just blaming Democratic leaders waiting for them to save us and not taking action ourselves we just stay stuck. I feel like we need to be protesting on the streets in massive numbers to let all elected leaders know this is not okay. And to let others now they are not alone in feeling aghast at what is happening. I was at a protest this weekend in a major city and their were a lot of people there, but not at the 2017 levels. How do we get more people “unstuck” and out protesting? Is protesting an important tool from your experience in countering this democracy backsliding?
Thank you, I'm happy to have helped. You raise some valid points, thanks. I'll be sure to include them when I write a full-blown piece on the 'blame game'.
As for your questions, I want to be careful in my response, so as not to be partisan or alarmist. Peaceful protest in Zim was swiftly quashed, as it became too dangerous. I fear that with recent legislation introduced in the UK and Trump's Executive Orders, the price of protest may also soon become too high in both our nations.
Brave lady, thank you. Great advice, and I do step away from my cocoon now and then, too much rage is not healthy or productive. Action does matter, and thinking what is the best way to resist is important.
Thank you Rain. I’m standing with you all.
Thank you for your focus. It's important for all of us. I look forward to reading your posts.
You’ll be warmly welcomed Cynthia. (And if you subscribe, I ask all subscribers to tell me what emotions they’re most struggling with, so I can address that directly.)
thank you for sharing your experience. i found you today by asking a question about inaccurate information on scotland's visa's. like a few others on this thread, we have thought about relocation. we had thought of canada or scotland. my father's family was from scotland. i appreciate your words on substack.
Thanks Lisa, it’s been good to connect with you. I hope that what I share will help you feel calmer, so you can carefully consider your options.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I need this so much and can't express how much it means to me. ❤️🤗💪
Guard your attention.
Brilliant.
Glad you appreciated it!