When Taking a Stand Feels Too Risky, Read This

Clear strategies to protect yourself, support your loved ones, and speak with purpose, not fear.

Image: Freepik

Friends,

In my last post, I wrote about how to stand firm when everything feels uncertain — how to hold your ground when the structures you rely on no longer feel stable. But sometimes, it’s not just about holding your ground. Sometimes, it’s about standing up, about doing the right thing even though you know it may cost you.

Not inconvenience. Not discomfort. But real consequences — to your job, your safety, your future.

And that brings a different kind of fear.

There’s a particular kind of fear that’s hard to explain unless you’ve lived it. It’s not the fear of loud threats or sudden danger — it’s quieter than that. It’s the creeping awareness that you’re approaching a crossroads. You can stand up, speak out, and face the consequences. Or you can stay silent — and live with that decision, and everything it brings.

You might be feeling it now.

Watching events unfold, hearing stories of people being punished for speaking out, you may be wondering: Will speaking up make me a target? How do I protect myself and the people I care about if I take a stand? What if I speak up and it changes nothing? Is it really worth it — or should I just stay quiet and ride this out?

I hear you. I've been there too. (You can read about it here.)

But when fear is used as a weapon, the aim is your silence. Not just yours, but everyone’s. If you believe that speaking out is dangerous, that standing firm will cost too much, and because no-one else seems willing to take the risk, you shouldn't either — then those who wield the weapon of fear have accomplished their goal.

So, if this is the space you’re in now, I want to speak directly to you.

Will speaking up make me a target?

Maybe. Not always, but yes, it’s possible. That’s the truth no one really wants to say out loud, but you already know it, don’t you? That’s why you’re asking the question.

So let’s take the sting out of it by getting practical.

If you’re going to speak up, do it wisely, not impulsively. Courage matters, but it’s not necessarily courageous to act in the heat of the moment or take unnecessary risks. That could be described as 'hot-headed', and you need to be clear-headed and deliberate.

So first know why you’re speaking up, and what you’re willing (and unwilling) to take on. That’s not always easy to define. But it helps to ask yourself: “Where is the line that I will not cross? What am I prepared to say or do, and what am I not?” For most people, the line is clear: you won’t compromise your personal safety or the wellbeing of those you love. That’s not weakness, it’s wisdom.

But there may be areas where you do feel able to take a stand, where the risk is manageable, and the potential cost is one you can accept. Maybe it’s professional pushback, or social discomfort. Maybe it’s just knowing some people will disagree, and being willing to live with that. Only you can define your limits. But once you do, it becomes easier to act without hesitation or regret.

And having that clarity — knowing what matters most to you, what you’ll stand for, and where you draw the line — is where real strength begins.

How do I protect myself and the people I care about if I take a stand?

Let’s be honest, this is the question that keeps us awake at night. Because this isn’t abstract — it’s personal, it’s real, and the stakes feel high. It’s not just about you. It’s about the people you love, the life you’ve built, and whether taking a stand could put any of that at risk. That’s not fearfulness, it's responsibility, and it deserves careful consideration.

Protection doesn’t mean you must stay silent. But you can take measured, thoughtful steps to minimise your risk and shield what matters most.

Let’s break it down into what you can actually do:

1. Limit your exposure- not every stand needs to be public.

Visibility attracts attention. Sometimes that’s useful, and sometimes it’s harmful. But you can still take a stand without broadcasting it, especially if you’re in a position where public attention could lead to real consequences.

Ask yourself: What small, effective actions can I take right now? Sometimes the most effective stands are taken quietly — in private conversations, in decisions you make, in support you give behind the scenes. You don’t have to announce everything, and you don’t have to be visible to make an impact. Part of protecting yourself is deciding what to keep private, and what (if anything) to make public.

2. Strengthen your privacy, both online and off.

Take the time to review what other see and know about you— online and offline.

Online

Look at your social media. What are you sharing? Who can see it? Are there posts, affiliations, or comments that could be taken out of context, misunderstood, or used against you?

You don’t need to erase your presence, but it’s wise to remove anything that could be misinterpreted, weaponised, or used to put you at a disadvantage. Tighten your privacy settings, and consider what needs to be public, and what doesn’t. If it doesn’t need to be out there, lock it down.

Offline

It’s the same with conversations. Trust is not about who agrees with you — it’s about who will stand with you if things get difficult. In a high-stakes situation, you need people who won’t fold under pressure, people who will hold your confidence, support your decision, and help keep you safe.

Know that not everyone who nods in agreement will be a safe ally. Some people will want to be informed, but not necessarily get involved. Others may quietly step back when pressure builds, not because they’re against you, but because they don’t want to take any risks themselves. That’s human nature. But there’s a reason why it matters.

When someone isn’t willing to stand with you, they’re unlikely to protect you, even if they care about you. Under pressure, they may distance themselves, or they might share what you told them, either thinking it’s harmless or because someone asked. They’re also unliley to say anything to support or defend you if you’re criticised or questioned.

It’s not that they're disloyal, more that they're thinking about self-preservation. And that instinct, if you’re not prepared for it, can leave you vulnerable. What you shared in confidence could resurface in the wrong context. What you assumed was private could suddenly be part of a wider conversation, without your consent. Moreover, it hurts, and emotional hurt can be debilitating.

None of this make these people bad; it just means they’re not equipped to help keep you safe. And if you’re going to take a stand, you need to be sure that those you confide in won’t waiver if things get tense.

Protection means being thoughtful about who you speak to, and what you share. Not out of fear, but out of wisdom. Sometimes the safest move is to say nothing, or to share only the essentials, and only with people who’ve earned your trust.

It's not about cutting people off or hiding. It’s about keeping your inner circle strong, and your personal information safe.

3. Have a plan for your loved ones.

When you take a stand, you’re not just thinking about how it might affect you; you’re also thinking about how the ripple effect can touch those around you, especially those you live with or care for. That’s natural, and it's why it’s important to bring them into the loop early, so they’re not left wondering what’s going on or left vulnerable if things shift.

You don’t need to go into every detail, and in some cases, it may be better not to. But offer enough context that they understand what to expect, and why you’ve chosen to act. This is not just about protecting them from practical fallout; it’s about giving them emotional clarity, so they can support you from a place of understanding rather than confusion or fear.

If there’s pushback — a difficult conversation, social tension, or something that affects your work or daily routine — they won’t be caught off guard. And if things go smoothly, you’ll have given them the courtesy of awareness, and possibly the chance to stand with you in their own way.

This is about shared strength. Standing firm is easier when those closest to you are steady too, and that starts with clear, calm communication.

That said, you don’t have to share everything, and in some situations, it may be better if you don’t.

Don’t go into every detail, explore every possible consequence, or make others carry your burden. Simply give those closest to you enough context to understand what you're doing and what to expect, so they can feel steady, not blindsided. Also, it will help you both if they know what you need from them — whether that’s quiet support, patience, or simply awareness.

Too much detail — especially about potential risks or fallout — can create unnecessary anxiety for them, or even lead them to discourage you from taking action at all. Not because they doubt you, but because they care about you, and want to keep you safe. Fear can shift people into reaction mode, to the extent that they may ask you to step back when you feel it’s right to step forward, and that can shake your resolve if you’re not prepared for it.

That’s why it helps to be selective about what you share. Focus on the essentials. Keep it simple, calm, and clear. Share only what they need to know to feel steady, informed, and ready to support you if needed.

This is not about secrecy — it’s about protecting their peace of mind while also protecting your resolve.

Lastly, it also helps to have a basic contingency plan.

What’s your plan if you need to leave quickly or quietly — from a job, a group, a situation that’s no longer safe or sustainable?

You may never need to. But thinking it through in advance removes uncertainty, and that’s what helps you stay calm under pressure.

If something shifts — tension at work, a group dynamic that turns uncomfortable, or a situation that starts to drain you — it helps to know how you’d step away, if you chose to. Quietly, smoothly, without unnecessary stress.

Ask yourself: If I needed to step back, what’s the simplest, cleanest way to do that? Are there practical steps I can take now to make that easier later — like keeping important contacts, documents, or finances organised? Who needs to know, and who doesn’t, if I decide to make a change?

You’re not expecting trouble, just reducing the unknowns. And the more prepared you feel, the more freely and confidently you can stand, knowing you have options and peace of mind.

Who can step in to support your family if needed?

Again, this isn’t about expecting the worst, but about thinking ahead, so you’re not caught off guard. If taking a stand leads to extra pressure — with your time, energy, or attention being pulled in other directions — it helps to know who can step in and help carry the load.

That might mean something simple, like asking a trusted friend or relative to help with school runs, meals, or childcare if your time becomes stretched. It might be knowing who you could turn to for advice, practical help, or a listening ear if things get demanding at home.

The goal isn’t to set up a formal support system, but to take a moment just to think: If I needed help, who could I call? Who already understands what’s going on and would be willing to step in, even briefly?

Even having one or two people in mind can lift the weight of uncertainty, and make you feel less alone in carrying responsibility for those you care about. Because protection isn’t only about avoiding harm; it’s about creating stability, even in times of change.

What practical steps can you take now to reduce dependency on systems or people who might be affected by your stance?

When you take a stand, it can sometimes create tension, not just for you, but for the people or structures you rely on. For example, if your job, professional network, or social group reacts badly, it may become harder to access the support or resources you’re used to.

This may not be necessary, but it will help to ask yourself in advance: If something changes, am I relying too heavily on a system or relationship that might no longer be stable? And if so, what can I do now to give myself more breathing room?

It might mean setting aside a small financial buffer, diversifying where you get advice or opportunities, or finding alternative ways to get things done if someone pulls back their support. The goal isn’t to step away from everything you rely on, but to create a little space, so if something shifts, you’re not left scrambling. That space — even if small — will give you more confidence, more stability, and more freedom to act without fear of being left exposed.

So, how do you protect yourself and the people you care about if you take a stand? By being deliberate. By limiting your exposure, strengthening your privacy, and preparing those closest to you so they’re steady, not shaken. By thinking ahead — calmly and practically — so that if anything shifts, you have options, and they have support.

You don’t need to control every outcome; you just need to reduce the unknowns. That’s what protection really is. Not fear, not silence— just foresight, clarity, and the confidence that comes from knowing you’re ready, whatever happens next.

What if I speak up, put myself at risk, and it changes nothing?

It’s a fair question, and one that will stop a lot of people from taking any further action. If the risks are real, and the outcome is uncertain, what’s the point?

But here’s the harder question: Can I live with myself if I do and say nothing?

Sometimes, the real weight doesn't lie in what happens after you speak up, but in what happens inside you if you don’t. Because while you may not be able to control whether your stand changes the system, the outcome, or the behaviour of others, you will be left to live with the decision you made. Silence and inaction can feel like self-protection in the moment. But over time, it can erode your peace, your self-respect, and even your sense of who you are. The thought that you should have acted but didn’t can linger far longer than fear ever will.

So yes, speaking up carries risk. It can feel uncertain, and the impact may not be immediate or visible. But doing the right thing isn’t just about changing the world; it’s about being able to live with yourself, knowing you stood by your values when it counted. That’s the part you control. That’s where your power is.

And here’s something else to consider: you may never fully see the impact of speaking up, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Years ago, I faced a similar choice — stay silent and safe, or speak up and risk everything. I thought I was helping a handful of clients make wiser choices in a difficult situation. But that single action rippled through Zimbabwe, and through the Zimbabwean diaspora across the world. People I’d never met were helped by something I never expected to spread. And today, 25 years later, that same experience — in a nation many would call inconsequential — is still rippling, helping people navigate similar challenges in the world’s most powerful nation.

So, no, you don’t know how far your stand will reach. You may not see immediate change, and you may not feel the shift. But you don’t stand alone, and you don’t stand in vain. Because every time someone takes a stand, it gives others permission to do the same. Every time someone refuses to be silent, it weakens the grip of fear. That’s how change begins — sometimes slowly, quietly, but always with someone who chose to act.

Is it really worth it — or should I just stay quiet and ride this out?

Only you can answer that. But I hope I’ve encouraged you to think beyond the fear, beyond the uncertainty, and to weigh not just the risk of taking a stand, but the cost of staying silent.

Because this moment — this choice — may feel small now, but it’s shaping something far greater: your future and that of your grandkids, the future of your great nation, your peace of mind, and your ability to look back and know you stood firm when it counted.

You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to be ready.

And when the time comes, I hope you stand.