My first thought when reading the beginning was, “please teach me how you went from losing everything to making more in a month than I do in a year.”
The second was compassion for the abuse and medical challenges. I too struggled with severe and excruciating endometriosis. My daughter was a miracle baby after 17 years of marriage.
The third thought was, Lori is a seer through lived experience. You are writing a foreshadowing of your past for what I believe will be our American future. You’re confirming my visions. Unfortunately, I don’t yet know a safer place to live, do you? Where do you live now, May I ask? For some reason I thought perhaps you were in Canada.
Lastly, you are a fascinating woman with a rich history and gifted storytelling skills. I’m always grateful I read your pieces. Thank you for taking the time to share your wisdom with us— especially when you struggle with MCAS.
Thank you, dear Sage. That’s a lot to take in, and I want to honour it properly.
The spiritual lessons I learned through the journey I’m sharing taught me how to live without fear of lack — to have what I need, when I need it — and to trust that provision comes when I’m aligned, not when I’m striving. It’s far less stressful than the old race to earn and accumulate. It’s one of the reasons I’m writing this story: so others can learn that same peace.
I’ve read parts of your own story, and I was struck by how our paths have mirrored one another, especially around health! I share your joy at the birth of your miracle daughter.
I’m strangely uncomfortable with labels, but no — what I’ve been shown reaches beyond my own lived experience. I’ll write more about that when the time comes. My understanding, going back twenty years, has been that those of us with US or UK ties will be among the most exposed to what is unfolding. I’m in the UK for now, but I plan to move to the EU when it becomes viable. For friends in the US, Canada still looks to me like the most resilient refuge.
And thank you for your generous words and continued support. You humble me more than you know.
I too am uncomfortable with labels- for the only constant thing is change and we’re here not to be this thing or that thing but everything, everywhere, all at once: integrated!
I’m currently in the US. Heading to the UK for six months after the new year and then to the EU. We dipped a toe in Canada but the cost of living there was greater than all the above, and this was 15 years ago maybe.
It’s a scary place to be because we’re letting go of all our belongings and will just be living out of suitcases for who knows how long.
I agree with you that alignment is the key to alchemy. This is the space we are currently relaxing into.
Looking forward to reading more of your brilliant writing.
You’re so right — integration is the point, and what a beautiful way to describe it! Not one label or another, but a continual unfolding into whatever life needs from us next.
You're making an extraordinary leap of faith, Sage, and one that feels perfectly in tune with what’s being asked of so many of us just now. Letting go of possessions, of the illusion of permanence, is no small thing, but it’s also where real freedom starts to open up. I’ll be thinking of you all as you make this transition, and setting my intention for unexpected ease and grace along the way.
OMG! What horrendous experience! It displays the worst of humanity, the hypocrisy that exists in Christianity and the lowest form of humanity. It also shows the resilience of the human spirit through your journey. Blessings and joy for you.
Thank you for your empathy, blessings, and wishes for joy David.
My husband wasn't a bad person, but was physically abused by his father, who he also watched abuse his mother. His father endured several years in a Prisoner of War camp during WW2, which is probably the root of generations of trauma — in that family at least. I just don't think they had the tools to manage that level of trauma. I don't hold any grievance. 🙏🏼
I listened to this episode as I ran an errand in my red desert town. I exclaimed out loud a few times: Oh, Lori, Oh shit, Oh my! I couldn't wait for Sunday to learn more and now I can't wait till next Sunday to hear more. You've really been through the wringer! I'm so grateful you've come out the other side and even more grateful you're sharing with us. I'm learning so much from you, and I bless every letter you write, knowing what it takes to function with illness in the background.
This could not have come at a better time for me, personally. I've had Long Covid for 5 years, which led to the loss of function in one lung and open-heart surgery. I was forced to quit teaching in 2023 and have run up so much debt not working and trying to get well. I refused to apply for disability b/c I know it will go away. My other side? Sell the house and ex-patty-pat-pat myself. It's in the works. I've moved on from running away to running to.
THIS: "The spiritual lessons I learned through the journey I’m sharing taught me how to live without fear of lack — to have what I need, when I need it — and to trust that provision comes when I’m aligned, not when I’m striving." THIS IS GOING ON MY BATHROOM MIRROR, MY FRIDGE, MY BEDSIDE. Thank you!
I move through this word w/o faith, so I can't wait to learn how it is an anchor for you.
Oh K, your words went straight to my heart. The picture you painted — running errands in your red desert town, exclaiming as you listened — made me smile through tears. I had to step away and gather myself before I could find the words to respond.
It means so much to know these pieces are reaching you in the midst of your own rebuilding, and that something in them is helping you feel seen. You helped me recognise there is value in my own experience, and even to feel a quiet gratitude for it.
You’ve faced so much in a few short years, and yet you’re still there, still open, still believing standing in that fragile space between what’s fallen away and what’s still forming. That kind of strength takes a steady, everyday courage most people neither know nor see, and I feel honoured that you’ve shared a glimpse of your story here.
That line you’ve pinned up — it’s how I’ve lived for more than twenty years, navigating this long-undiagnosed illness without the capacity to work or earn a living, so I know it to be true to my core. But I also learned there’s more to aligning than simply believing; that’s why I began to open up these pieces in the first place. That understanding has given my faith deep roots, and I hope that as I unfold what I learned, here, it offers the same to you.
Thank you for reading with such heart, for walking with me through the hard parts, and for sharing so much of your own story in return. I’ll be holding you close in my thoughts as you keep stepping toward the life that’s waiting for you.
Oh my, now it's my turn to step away and gather my thoughts before I can adequately reply! And I shall soon. In the meantime please know that I feel the connection of our shared humanity is so strong that it reaches through the ether straight to my heart and soul. I'm forever blessed. Hugs from the thorny cactus dotted desert 💖✨️
This is a fascinating story. Having survived a past marriage of enabling a drug addicted, bipolar suffering dependent (without the extreme violence) I relate. I'm not Christian but try to follow a Buddhist philosophy with a dose of Stoicism. I look forward to the next writing.
"Fascinating" is such a generous description W.J., thank you. It's been a pretty unpleasant story thus far, and I'm sorry it reminds you of an equally difficult time for you. It has been challenging to write, and — I'm sure — equally so for many to read. But it leads to the turning point, and that is where hope lies.
I'm grateful to have you here, and that you're persevering with it.
My goodness, dear Lori! You’ve lived some life!!
My first thought when reading the beginning was, “please teach me how you went from losing everything to making more in a month than I do in a year.”
The second was compassion for the abuse and medical challenges. I too struggled with severe and excruciating endometriosis. My daughter was a miracle baby after 17 years of marriage.
The third thought was, Lori is a seer through lived experience. You are writing a foreshadowing of your past for what I believe will be our American future. You’re confirming my visions. Unfortunately, I don’t yet know a safer place to live, do you? Where do you live now, May I ask? For some reason I thought perhaps you were in Canada.
Lastly, you are a fascinating woman with a rich history and gifted storytelling skills. I’m always grateful I read your pieces. Thank you for taking the time to share your wisdom with us— especially when you struggle with MCAS.
Ps. I hope you divorced your abuser. 🫂
Thank you, dear Sage. That’s a lot to take in, and I want to honour it properly.
The spiritual lessons I learned through the journey I’m sharing taught me how to live without fear of lack — to have what I need, when I need it — and to trust that provision comes when I’m aligned, not when I’m striving. It’s far less stressful than the old race to earn and accumulate. It’s one of the reasons I’m writing this story: so others can learn that same peace.
I’ve read parts of your own story, and I was struck by how our paths have mirrored one another, especially around health! I share your joy at the birth of your miracle daughter.
I’m strangely uncomfortable with labels, but no — what I’ve been shown reaches beyond my own lived experience. I’ll write more about that when the time comes. My understanding, going back twenty years, has been that those of us with US or UK ties will be among the most exposed to what is unfolding. I’m in the UK for now, but I plan to move to the EU when it becomes viable. For friends in the US, Canada still looks to me like the most resilient refuge.
And thank you for your generous words and continued support. You humble me more than you know.
I too am uncomfortable with labels- for the only constant thing is change and we’re here not to be this thing or that thing but everything, everywhere, all at once: integrated!
I’m currently in the US. Heading to the UK for six months after the new year and then to the EU. We dipped a toe in Canada but the cost of living there was greater than all the above, and this was 15 years ago maybe.
It’s a scary place to be because we’re letting go of all our belongings and will just be living out of suitcases for who knows how long.
I agree with you that alignment is the key to alchemy. This is the space we are currently relaxing into.
Looking forward to reading more of your brilliant writing.
You’re so right — integration is the point, and what a beautiful way to describe it! Not one label or another, but a continual unfolding into whatever life needs from us next.
You're making an extraordinary leap of faith, Sage, and one that feels perfectly in tune with what’s being asked of so many of us just now. Letting go of possessions, of the illusion of permanence, is no small thing, but it’s also where real freedom starts to open up. I’ll be thinking of you all as you make this transition, and setting my intention for unexpected ease and grace along the way.
Oh, I so agree! Lori is an amazing woman! I share many of your thoughts!
OMG! What horrendous experience! It displays the worst of humanity, the hypocrisy that exists in Christianity and the lowest form of humanity. It also shows the resilience of the human spirit through your journey. Blessings and joy for you.
Thank you for your empathy, blessings, and wishes for joy David.
My husband wasn't a bad person, but was physically abused by his father, who he also watched abuse his mother. His father endured several years in a Prisoner of War camp during WW2, which is probably the root of generations of trauma — in that family at least. I just don't think they had the tools to manage that level of trauma. I don't hold any grievance. 🙏🏼
Lori, Lori, Lori!
I listened to this episode as I ran an errand in my red desert town. I exclaimed out loud a few times: Oh, Lori, Oh shit, Oh my! I couldn't wait for Sunday to learn more and now I can't wait till next Sunday to hear more. You've really been through the wringer! I'm so grateful you've come out the other side and even more grateful you're sharing with us. I'm learning so much from you, and I bless every letter you write, knowing what it takes to function with illness in the background.
This could not have come at a better time for me, personally. I've had Long Covid for 5 years, which led to the loss of function in one lung and open-heart surgery. I was forced to quit teaching in 2023 and have run up so much debt not working and trying to get well. I refused to apply for disability b/c I know it will go away. My other side? Sell the house and ex-patty-pat-pat myself. It's in the works. I've moved on from running away to running to.
THIS: "The spiritual lessons I learned through the journey I’m sharing taught me how to live without fear of lack — to have what I need, when I need it — and to trust that provision comes when I’m aligned, not when I’m striving." THIS IS GOING ON MY BATHROOM MIRROR, MY FRIDGE, MY BEDSIDE. Thank you!
I move through this word w/o faith, so I can't wait to learn how it is an anchor for you.
Blessings,
K
Oh K, your words went straight to my heart. The picture you painted — running errands in your red desert town, exclaiming as you listened — made me smile through tears. I had to step away and gather myself before I could find the words to respond.
It means so much to know these pieces are reaching you in the midst of your own rebuilding, and that something in them is helping you feel seen. You helped me recognise there is value in my own experience, and even to feel a quiet gratitude for it.
You’ve faced so much in a few short years, and yet you’re still there, still open, still believing standing in that fragile space between what’s fallen away and what’s still forming. That kind of strength takes a steady, everyday courage most people neither know nor see, and I feel honoured that you’ve shared a glimpse of your story here.
That line you’ve pinned up — it’s how I’ve lived for more than twenty years, navigating this long-undiagnosed illness without the capacity to work or earn a living, so I know it to be true to my core. But I also learned there’s more to aligning than simply believing; that’s why I began to open up these pieces in the first place. That understanding has given my faith deep roots, and I hope that as I unfold what I learned, here, it offers the same to you.
Thank you for reading with such heart, for walking with me through the hard parts, and for sharing so much of your own story in return. I’ll be holding you close in my thoughts as you keep stepping toward the life that’s waiting for you.
Blessings back to you🙏🏼💫
Oh my, now it's my turn to step away and gather my thoughts before I can adequately reply! And I shall soon. In the meantime please know that I feel the connection of our shared humanity is so strong that it reaches through the ether straight to my heart and soul. I'm forever blessed. Hugs from the thorny cactus dotted desert 💖✨️
This is a fascinating story. Having survived a past marriage of enabling a drug addicted, bipolar suffering dependent (without the extreme violence) I relate. I'm not Christian but try to follow a Buddhist philosophy with a dose of Stoicism. I look forward to the next writing.
"Fascinating" is such a generous description W.J., thank you. It's been a pretty unpleasant story thus far, and I'm sorry it reminds you of an equally difficult time for you. It has been challenging to write, and — I'm sure — equally so for many to read. But it leads to the turning point, and that is where hope lies.
I'm grateful to have you here, and that you're persevering with it.
I could only wish for the same level of courage that you live.
F&C, I know a little of how your recent years have been, and you have FAR greater courage than I!
Good on you, Lori. Truth Sharing sets us free.
Thank you Jessica. You're right — it does.
A wise woman once told me, "We are as sick as our secrets." It is time for me to let these go.
😢
❤️
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