The ABC's have helped me for many years. Keeping in mind that the quick thoughts that come to mind immediately after the event are oftentimes irrational, is very important. For example, my political self frequently tells me that others should ALWAYS agree with me. I might be right....lol...but expecting agreement is a set-up for feelings of frustration or even anger.
It's good to know that you've found these tools useful over such a long period, W.J. Having a framework to lean on when the world feels so chaotic helps provide much-needed steadiness. Your point about "shoulds" and "musts" is really important — they are often the loudest voices in our internal dialogue. And I hear you: wanting others to see the logic we see is very human, but as you rightly note, expecting agreement is too often a direct path to frustration and disappointment.
Thank you, Lori. I'm looking forward to learning this much-needed information. The struggle is real.
The ABC's have helped me for many years. Keeping in mind that the quick thoughts that come to mind immediately after the event are oftentimes irrational, is very important. For example, my political self frequently tells me that others should ALWAYS agree with me. I might be right....lol...but expecting agreement is a set-up for feelings of frustration or even anger.
It's good to know that you've found these tools useful over such a long period, W.J. Having a framework to lean on when the world feels so chaotic helps provide much-needed steadiness. Your point about "shoulds" and "musts" is really important — they are often the loudest voices in our internal dialogue. And I hear you: wanting others to see the logic we see is very human, but as you rightly note, expecting agreement is too often a direct path to frustration and disappointment.
I'm not exactly sure, but I believe it was Albert Ellis who said it's important to not "should" all over ourselves.
Exactly right W.J. 😊
< chuckle > They SHOULD! ;-)
A great post as always!! Thanks Lori!!!